Tuesday, March 4, 2014

A Tale of Two Larks

In the early 1980s, after the state put a bounty on child abusers, it became de riguer in divorce cases to claim one spouse was abusing a child.  The charge was so odious in the beginning it was believed.  Young lawyers desiring to build careers would push this.  I observed two cases, in which neither was there abuse, but the results varied.

In the one a charge was offered but it went no where, and that was pretty much the end of it, except for a wariness of the one spouse over for what the other was capable.

In the other, the charge was investigated, the weight of the court came down on the spouse, a father, and the wife kept doubling down.  In spite of no evidence of wrongdoing, the father was forbidden to see his daughters, and this injustice invited even more doubling down, until a poison killed family relationships and even father-daughter connections.  A no contact order was put in place, and as far as I know, the father has not seen the daughters for over thirty years.

The father went on to a life not unlike many others who experience an unspeakable injustice, a life with pain, but grace behind it.  The mother went on to a different unhappiness.   Pain with no grace, a very ugly place to be.

We hate those we harm.  If and when we get a little power, even by proxy, and we begin to do wrong with it, it is near impossible not to double down.   A lie about abuse which would have been about two people led to unspeakable pain among four people, and no doubt countless others who loved all involved.

Say no to power, especially your own.

Feel Free To Email This To Three Friends.

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